Mental illness? How do I know when I need help? Who should I ask?

 

dec xmas 2015 063

These are questions going around in my head this morning.  I don’t feel ‘right’.  I have been like this before. I went to the Doctor and got help…anti-depressants & talking therapy, free art classes. It all helped me to get through it.

Its back! Been around me for some time. I keep fighting it off.  But it is slowly sucking the life out of me! As I struggle along, I am withdrawing from life…shutting people out…not wanting to go anywhere, do anything.  Unable to feel joy; my world is monochrome, colourless, flat,empty.  Yet I feel…feel deep, raw, heartache,sadness, loneliness, unconnected, alone even in a crowd of people.

I feel I have no-one to tell, no-one to understand me, yet I have a husband, a son, sister, brother, friends but no-one seems to listen, no-one understands how I feel.

Yet I choose to be alone.  I feel anxious around people.  I panic about social events. I stress over the smallest things, like a phone call, an appointment, a visitor, everything!

I cannot organise myself, or my day.  Because I struggle with decision-making.  I struggle getting motivated to do daily tasks.  But I try. I somehow manage to do the essentials, like cook a meal for hubby, and look after the pets. Basic things are done, but they are a drag.

Some days I can be creative…I like to make things…but its sporadic.

How do I pull myself out of this?  I am fighting daily to keep going.  There are many underlying issues, such as chronic pain from  PN (Peripheral Neuropathy) and the recent trauma of the sudden death of my Mum (18 months ago).

So do I need help? Should I seek professional help?  Or can I get well by myself?  Does everyone feel like this?  How do I know? Am I ill?   Or is this just a natural reaction to events such as death of a loved one? The thing is I am too anxious to go talk to a doctor. I don’t know what to do.

If you have suffered like this and have dealt with some of these issues please get in touch.

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5 thoughts on “Mental illness? How do I know when I need help? Who should I ask?

  1. i have gone through the most of this as well and deal with the chronic pain of fibromyalgia. it brings along a lot of other issues to deal with. im also somedays still trapped in my grieving loved ones i lost last year. i can only speak for myself but in the 7 years ive been trying to work this all out and find a new normal i think that aqua therapy has been the best thing for me. im so lucky to have my physical therapy and gym with heated salt water pool in one building. and a short drive from my house. I do wish you well and just so you know you are not the only one there are many more of us then​ you think 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. While talk therapy can be very uncomfortable, it helps (my opinion). If you’re questioning whether or not you need help, I suggest talking with a professional. You have a lot on your plate – this post alone is heavy with so many emotions! Because you went through therapy with medication in the past doesn’t mean it’s not time to do the same again. You will probably uncover new issues to discuss and work through. I’ll be thinking about you and awaiting any updates you feel like sharing.

    Liked by 1 person

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